Waking up to a txt, from a person I barely hear from, that reads.. "Missing you in a different way so I can't hang because you are not good for me." Wow. What beautiful pain and honesty. How does one respond to such a txt? We were each others bestfriends during our relationship although it was a very unhealthy one. A simple invite to the beach turned into a whirl wind of memories. It's over for me. I don't like to move backward. I prefer to travel paths never travelled. But what she can't know and will never understand is the depths of my love for her. She was such a delicate flower. I tried to water, protect, and nurture her but that wasn't supposed to be my job. I wasn't stable enough mentally to teach some one else how to be stable. It was an overwhelming task that caused necessary heartache. Today, I'm improved because of her and the innocent affection she had and needed to have for me. Slowly understanding my role on this planet with every failed relationship. Seems I'm here to assist others in gaining their happiness usually at the expense of my own. You know what, that's okay. I'm made pretty damn tough. Durable, rugged and filled with enough love to fall in it and keep myself protected. All these honest emotions from everyone makes me feel like my knight(ess) must be arriving soon. Life is clearing the path so that I can welcome him/her with wide open arms. Well atleast that is what I'm telling myself. If not, I will just continue encouraging others to do better and get better because they deserve better. And while my heart breaks with every failed attempt, I'll wait for the rain to fall and heal me so that I can get up and try again. I love, love but who will love me? Unconditionally...
Goodnight
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