Acceptance

Brown skin
Black Kinky hair
Thick not thin
Dark Brown eyes
Searching for acceptance

As I ponder about what to write.. I realize acceptance is hard to find when using eyes looking outward. How do I peer into my soul, into my body, into my mind? How do I learn to accept what is and not fight for what could be? How do I stop wanting what is not or stop trying to make it a should be? Hmmm.. New thought, Acceptance vs. Hope..Faith..Want..Yearning for what? Acceptance?
Well, I am who I am and that is that but wait. Then why am I striving to improve? My continuous need to improve my so-called unacceptable character flaws proves that acceptance is a flaw within itself. What happens when my self image is constantly being damaged by the descriptions of others? We all need people. We aren't in this world alone right? So how can I say, don't let the views, opinions, and the disapprovals of others affect my own thoughts?

Answers: Acceptance starts with realizing that I must continue to move forward regardless of what is unacceptable. Acceptance comes from just being and dealing with what is existing, happening, feeling, occuring at this very second and not doing anything with it. So, I accept my dark skin tone, I accept my thick hair, I accept my piercing eyes, I accept my full body, and most importantly I accept my mind. This is me at this very moment and there is nothing I can do about it. I also accept that when it is time for me to change, improve, or let go of something in my life, it will happen.

Acceptance.. Enlightenment..

Rebirth

I'm born again!
Please hold the applause. It is just the same ole AlphaRaine, just reincarnated. When I left, I was a bitter, sad, hurt, scorned, and angry soul. My heart had been tarnished and my mind was full of blame. My body felt weak and I became hopeless. My emotions took over. I was a slave stuck in the dungeon of pain, of confusion, of hatred. I was so powerless that I wished for death. It was the only way out. Death was the tiny roach out of the torture. Well I died and came back to life. :) Now I can ACCEPT the applause. Thank you. Thank you. Stay tuned for the next blog on acceptance.