The journey to emotional wellness isn't an easy one. I have not arrived. I'm still trekking toward my final destination. Some days are better than others but most days are no where near as bad as they have been. I'm grateful.
As I continue to travel toward the top of my mountain, I pick berries with more confidence. I have learned which ones are edible and which ones are poisonous. I have learned to trust my judgement. What once seemed too risky, is now done fearlessly and with faith. I'm still cautious about hidden obstacles, but I figure, I'll worry about them when they're presented to me. At times, I feel all alone and find myself filling up with sadness. I haven't yet figured out the best way to handle it. Sadness.... Hmmm.. Mr. Sadness loves to join me unexpectedly. Soon I will either learn to welcome him without the feeling of annoyance or he just won't want to come around anymore... To be continued
Common ground is common sound..they say turn that frown upside down. While toxic waste flows thru my veins..this is not cloud nine its jus a new day. I need a mental cleanse to get ride of these demons...but talking to the norm is to damn demeaning.. but to achieve is to live...and to live is dream. What is the norm? And what are my beliefs. I try to focus..adapt..and overcome..but as soon I take risk my feelings go numb..try to think of happier thoughts while I'm sleep. Like a garden with flowers and peace while that's the least.. When I open my eyes I asked was this all a dream? To be choked and suffocated and smothered while sleep. Then I remebered I have some conditions..I have to live off a machine but do I listen...if I die tonight I have myself to blame...my life is filled with death and pain..I tell myself to plug up that machine..so I can have beautiful thoughts and pleasant dreams...I don't feel normal and I don't feel human..but does normal exist. I thought we been thru this..if I take life on and defeat this disease. I won't have worry about dying in my sleep...respectfully...linda_lou
ReplyDelete