Need You To Survive

Dear God,
I'm not depressed or anything. I'm not fighting suicidal thoughts. But I'm wondering, when are things going to get better for me? They recite, "Cast your (my) burdens upon me (you)". And God believe me I try. But I'm constantly wondering, "when are things going to get better for me?" Sometimes I cry. You know, "WHAT DID I DO???" I try my best to play it safe. Away from people, I stay. Then I get lonely. I get sooooo lonely that I think I'm going crazy. I bring myself out of my shell. I find that all these people like me. Then I get scared, worried, nervous and I disappear. I see all these problems in people that I am able to help them fix. Then my life turns for the worse and these people no longer exist. I'm alone. I get sad, I get depressed, and then I become hateful. I hate deceit. I hate lies. I hate misconceptions. So I try to be honest at all times. You get what you give, right? I get "you use the wrong tone". It's not what you say, it is how you say. I shut up and don't say anything because "the truth hurts". I get looked at as too soft. I'm a push over. So I toughen up. I'm too aggressive. I isolate myself. You're not approachable. I become too trusting of the wrong type. I become suspicious of the overly honest self and I run. All alone and scared but I cast my burdens upon you God and appreciate what I am. I am grateful. My crutch. The reason why I wake up and start talking. I smile, aware of what I do have. I'm alone realizing things are always getting better for me. I'm blessed. Thank You.
Your Earthly Angel

I walk the path of righteousness not because it is easy. I walk this path because it is hard. And every day I wake up, fearful that it is getting too hard, I look back and remember where I came from and where I could have been. So I keep on walking full force ahead.